The Brain

I thank the bladder

When I'm excreting,

And I always give the elbow room!

But the brain!

Please allow me to explain,

There's no organ can compare to it,

I swear to it, it's plain,

It's the brain . . .

(spoken)

Mr. Hilltop here, with whom I have never worked nor given any prior instruction to, has graciously offered his services for

this afternoon's demonstration.

(sung)

His medulla oblongata,

Tells his brain stem that it's gotta

Send an impulse full of data

Which creates a lotta pain.

His frontal lobe gets busy

With a thought that makes him dizzy,

Puts his cortex in a tizzy,

So he never will complain,

That's what I love about the brain!

(spoken)

Mr. Hilltop, will you raise your left knee, please. You have just witnessed a voluntary nerve impulse. Mr. Hilltop, you

may lower your knee. Reflex movements, on the other hand, are those which are made independently of the will. Why you dirty

rotten yellow son-of-a-bith!

MR. HILLTOP:

Ooooh!

Even though I almost kneed him

His reflexes have no freedomm

to react when I mistreat him,

It's important I explain

Synaptic nerve connection

Goes its way without detection

Bringing cranial protection

In a never-endinig chain!

That's what I love about the brain!

(spoken)

But what if we were to block those nerve impulses by simply aplying local pressure . . . . . . which can be done with any

ordinary metal clamp, just at the swelling of the posterior nerve root . . . for say, oh, four seconds . . . . . . Why you

mother-grabbing bastard! As you can see, even though I have just smashed my knee into his crotch, he does not react. He

feels absolutely nothing.

MR. HILLTOP:

Mmmm . . .

More or less. So if it were not for this continuous stream of motor impulses from the brain, we would collapse . . . . . .

like a bunch . . . of . . . broccoli!

MR. HILLTOP:

Oooooh!

FREDERICK (sung):

And in conclusion,

So there's no confusion,

Let me say it once again,

Though your genitalia

Has been known to fail ya,

You can bet your ass on the brain!

(spoken)

Everybody!

STUDENTS (sung):

The brain!

There is nothing like the brain!

It's the king of our anaotomy

And ever shall it reign!

You can call me Copernicus,

Kepler, or Newton,

Compare me to Freud

I'd feel high-falutin!

Call me a Darwin,

I love that man's theory,

Call me Pasteur

And watch me get teary!

Say Madame Curie,

That would be the best,

Call me a Rorschach,

I'm up to the test!

I really light up

When you call me Edison

Call me an Erlich,

I like that man's medicine

Call me Marconi,

That wireless wow

Call me Pavlov,

And I'll bark like a chow

Call me an Einstein

And that would be fine

If you called me a Tesla

I wouldn't decline

But to call me a Frankenstein

Would be insane,

Cause I love the brain!

His name is Fronkensteen

The facts are plain

There is nothing like the brain!