Divorce Me C.O.D.

I just bought me a great long ticket

I'm going to use it at 4 PM

So you can call your secret love

And tell the news to him

Well, you thought your little romance

Was on the straight QT

So if you want your freedom PDQ

Divorce me COD

I won't be around to hear you cry

I'm Texas bound and by and by

You can reach me down in Dallas

Just general delivery

So if you want your freedom PDQ

Divorce me COD

There's going to come a day, gal

When you'll be feeling blue

You'll find you can't pay your bills

With a little old IOU

That's dynamite you're messing with

It may be TNT

So if you want your freedom PDQ

Divorce me COD

No need to fall down on your knees

Because I know all my ABCs

Well, I ain't no college professor

Ain't got no PhD

But if you want your freedom PDQ

Divorce me COD

Divorce me COD