Ella's From Somewhere Else

Ella's from somewhere else

You see her and you know

That you're slipping through the felt

Through the seams of the place and the pain

I feel the pain of it sideways like a kiss, stellar rays

Like a beached whale, spaceship, black hole somewhere orbiting away

Ella takes me to the place

We first met in the cornfield, NotACornfield, eating snacks

Snakebite sister, mother, sister, I have lost what I kept

Five years old, five years ago, I first loved you

Your eyes like I've known them forever

I've nothing like I know you

Ella takes me to the flatness of the loss

How the comfort of your touch now

Is a trigger without cause

How trusting, even knowing you is dangerous in my heart

I'm not able to keep constant, to keep on

In the magic, I found wonder, I found fear

In this room now, I still see him standing closer as I scream

Ella takes me in her stillness to the stream

Where you jumped in, fully submerged

And I felt inside a dream

Like I've known you, like you're family, like I'm here

Ella takes me to the place we said goodbye

If I'd known it was the last time, I don't know if I'd cry

Maybe I'd say something about what you mean

How even though we've reconnected, your loss ripped open the seams

Leaving nothing, just a vastness, in between

Now I feel like I am scifi, I am porous, I am mean

I want to go back to our mom's porch and scream

You're my brother, you're my family, you are everything to me

You're my brother, you're my family, you are everything to me