Save Me From Myself

Young Bula

I got pride in my veins that don't let me cry

I got ghost in my bed still telling lies

I got dreams that I drown in Henny waves

Still telling myself that I'm okay

Pushing love like it's poison

Running from the real with noise in

All my nights feel like stages

Smiling wide while I rot in cages

Told her I don't feel nothing, cap

Told her she too much for me, facts

Told her she should find better hope

But I still stalk her page on the low

Can't even trust what I say

Got me drowning in place, posting wins

I ain't earn, writing vows that I burn

I see her in strangers' faces

Looking for love in fake places

And I swear I'd change

But then I ghost like nothing strange

Yeah, I know I talk too slick

Act like love don't hit

But truth is I'm scared of it

Don't know how to handle it

Used to have her on speed dial

Now it's me versus me in a freestyle

Running through names, none of them stick

None of them call me out on my shit

I got demons, I dressed in Dior

I got peace walking out my door

I say I'm good, I lie with skill

Even pain start to feel like pain

Want love, but don't chase it

Want truth, but can't face it

If she came back today, would I know what to say

Yeah, I act like I made of flame

But inside, it's ice and shame

She believed in who I could be

I just wish I believed the same

I keep praying someone sees me

In the cracks of the TV

Not the smile, not the drip

But the silence, I never flip

If she out there, hope she know

That I'm loud, but I'm hollow

Let the king still bleeds

That I'll bend before I follow

Save me from myself

I got everything but help

Tell me I'm worth the fight

Tell me I ain't just night