Malcolm, Dust 'em

From the moment he saw her,

he knew that he was for her

Nevermind she's a giant,

and completely reliant

On certain things he couldn't possibly begin to provide

They were wed in the autumn,

with a ring she had bought him.

But her folks were against it,

and they weren't in attendance.

"What's he wanting with a giant, what's he got to hide?"

Well, her face was horrid,

but her heart, was it solid gold

You see, late at night,

with young Malcolm asleep,

she would creep out the back door.

And despite the creaking floor,

she'd make her way onto the street

The wee hours of morn,

is when she'd return,

with her crumbling body tired.

Her jewel eyes still bright and wired,

but slowly she'd drift off back to sleep...

Malcolm, Dust them,

you can't trust them

Use your feather duster, bust them

Don't play kind now,

don't play blind now

There's only one way you can find out

Malcolm, powder,

rock and doubt her

I can feel there's somethin' about her

Don't be scared,

it isn't fair that

You should bear her bad behaviour

For a time things were dandy,

bought a house that looked fancy

Making love was quite chalky,

and she used to play naughty

Now all she plays is silly games of darting around the truth

And she once was persistent,

now she seems non existent

Her rock body and wire frame,

became harder to maintain

And to be fair rock-giants are much prettier in their youth

And her true colours showing

And her stories were growing old

You see late one night when the fires were out, the giant laid an egg

They laid there both in bed,

she said, "Malcolm, soon we'll have a child."

Malcolm, Dust her!

You can't trust her!