Doug's First Date

Doug pets his dog

Dog watches Doug

Dog feels the stress

Doug gives dog bone

Dog sniffs his butt

While Doug gets dressed

Dog seems impressed

With Doug's cologne

Doug feeds his fish

Fish don't do shit

Fish don't play fetch

Doug hates fish so

Fish hides in fern

While Doug has fits

Fish don't do shit

Fish got to go

First you're born

Then you walk

Then you boy scout

Then you drive

Then you drink

Then you leave

Then you marry

Then you die

Doug calls to Mom

Mom checks his tie

Mom checks his breath

Doug looks so young

Mom gives Doug cash

While Doug shifts weight

Mom hates first dates

Mom bites her tongue

First a flicker

Then a flame

Then an ember

Then an ash

Take the cash, Doug

Take the cash

She's a lovely girl

She's a lovely girl

Such a lovely girl

Doug greets his dog

Dog smiles at Doug

Dog feels relief

Doug fills dog's dish

Dog settles in

While Doug finds bone

Dog's glad Doug's home

Dog, Mom, Doug, Fish

First an acorn

Then a tree

Then an acorn

Then a tree

Then an acorn

Then a tree

Then an acorn

Then a tree