Carrot Juice is Murder

Listen up brothers and sisters

Come hear my desperate tale

I speak of our friends of nature

Trapped in the dirt like a jail

Vegetables live in oppression

Served on our tables each night

This killing of veggies is madness

I say we take up the fight

Salads are only for murderers

Coleslaw's a fascist regime

Don't think that they don't have feelings

Just 'cause a radish can't scream

I've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)

Watching their skins being peeled (having their insides revealed)

Grated and steamed with no mercy (burning off calories)

How do you think that feels? (Bet it hurts really bad)

Carrot juice constitutes murder (and that's a real crime)

Greenhouses prisons for slaves (let my vegetables go)

It's time to stop all this gardening (it's dirty as hell)

Let's call a spade a spade (is a spade, is a spade, is a spade, is a spade)

I saw a man eating celery

So I beat him black and blue

If he ever touches a sprout again

I'll bite him clean in two

I'm a political prisoner

Trapped in a windowless cage

'Cause I stopped the slaughter of turnips

By killing five men in a rage

I told the judge when he sentenced me

This is my finest hour

I'd kill those farmers again

Just to save one more cauliflower

I've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)

Watching their skins being peeled (having their insides revealed)

Grated and steamed with no mercy (burning off calories)

How do you think that feels? (Bet it hurts really bad)

Carrot juice constitutes murder (and that's a real crime)

Greenhouses prisons for slaves (let my vegetables go)

It's time to stop all this gardening (it's dirty as hell)

Let's call a spade a spade (is a spade, is a spade, is a spade, is a spade)

How low as people do we dare to stoop

Making young broccolis bleed in the soup?

Untie your beans, uncage your tomatoes

Let potted plants free, don't mash that potato!

I've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)

Watching their skins being peeled (fates in the stirfry are sealed)

Grated and steamed with no mercy (you fat gourmet slob)

How do you think that feels? (leave them out in the field)

Carrot juice constitutes murder (V8's genocide)

Greenhouses prisons for slaves (yes, your composts are graves)

It's time to stop all this gardening (take up macrame)

Let's call a spade a spade (is a spade, is a spade, is a spade, is a spade, is a spade, is a spade)