I used to burn my bread up getting toasted at the crustiest spots
Where customers flock and Michelin star coca chefs juggling pots
Like Cirque du Soleil, perks like Olé, smoother than skin oil
Slick like moisturizer when they glide up on the tinfoil
A couple days before I traded fetty shots for textured socks
Old Caesar's Vans for treatment vans, got caught up in a petty plot
Called a rehab, I had the needle in my elbow
I lit a cig and inhaled slow, I'm thinking "Hell no"
I didn't wanna make good on my promise at my intake up
But my mama's tripping and my karma's catching quickly up
So after hesitating, I confirm that there's a bed that's waiting
My head is shaking, fear is rising like some bread that's baking
I know I'm leaving in a couple of days and it's hitting me
I could end this in a couple of ways
I could choose to taper down and slowly detox
Or I could call my plug, the street
Doc, to get my medication restocked
So I count my money, weigh my options on my Keith ledger
Call the plug who sent half my homies to EMT stretchers
Choose the route of instant pleasure, future suffering
Then my running partner called me back about another thing
"Yo Skinny, what's good? My dope man fell through
I need a throw-in with you but I got something to tell you
If you give me the same price on the dope that you're copping
I'll do the same for you with my plug who bring in the fire rocking"
So I said "Alright, bet, it's decided, it's set"
I'm out of dope and out of crack and now I'm starting to sweat
I'm Tom Cruise when I'm itching to cop
Until my eyes wide shut, it's an impossible mission to stop
Wanna flick the lighter, watch the spoons sizzle like a chicken fryer
Hit the rock raw like Eddie Murphy off of that Richard Pryor
Head to the plug spot, I'm antsy and I'm restless
He came late like a woman taking antidepressants
Left from Georgia Ave, then I went and scooped my boy on U Street
We headed back uptown, his dealer pulled up in a blue Jeep
Success was too sweet, what's the catch to the equation?
That's when he told me "Just give me
A ride to where my homie's staying"
We head to 16th Street, bougie apartment building
Do a shot or take a blast that still ain't numb my heart and feelings
I'm truly hopeless as I'm coasting off the stem and shore
I'm too afraid to quit but I don't wanna do this anymore
My guilt and future tripping thoughts get interrupted
By our mutual friend coming in, he's coked up, drunk, and flustered
Sitting on the couch, he sparks a spliff, starts talking quick
Joking with my other homie escalates to argument
The dope is hitting and I'm in and out of consciousness
As they're moving closer and shoving each other, cocking fists
One of them pulls out a switch, grabs the other by the collar
Strangling and punching him over some drunken prideful hollers
Senses awaken as the tension ain't breaking
The knife is raised above his head, now he's trembling and shaking
Time is slowing down and freezing as I'm hyper aware
I picture running for the door down the flights of the stairs
Think about if my friend is stabbed and then I'm a witness
Would he try to take me out too? Do I have the fitness
To put up a fight, grab his hand, shake out the knife?
But more importantly than anything to do with my life
Do I have time to grab my dope needle, crack, and my spoon?
'Cause even if I make it out from the back of this room
If I have to leave it here, well then I might as well stay
I'd rather die high than end up sick surviving the day
That's the moment that I understood a frightening fact
I cared more about the fetty, China white, and the crack
Than I did about ensuring that my life was intact
I swear my spirit went from darkness back to light as I snapped
Back to reality, my friend slammed the switch on the table
The fight was over, he kicked us out and though I was able
To make it out alive, I know part of me died in that evening
The part of me that justified the using, lying, and thieving
I drove back home and I decided I was finally leaving
For treatment for my own sake to finally fight off my demons
I left home two days later, I've been sober ever since
And I owe my whole life to that sequence of events