Wig In A Box

On nights like this

When the world's a bit amiss

And the lights go down across the trailer park

I get down, I feel had

Feel on the verge of going mad

Then it's time to punch the clock

I put on some makeup

Turn on the tape deck

And put the wig back on my head

Suddenly I'm Miss Midwest Midnight checkout queen

Until I head home

And I put myself to bed

I look back on where I'm from

Look at the woman I've become

And the strangest things seem suddenly routine

I look up from my Vermouth on the rocks

The gift-wrapped wig still in the box

Of towering velveteen

I put on some makeup

Some LaVern Baker

And pull the wig down from the shelf

Suddenly I'm Miss Beehive 1963

Until I wake up

Then I turn back to myself

Some girls they got natural ease

They wear it any way they please

With their French flip curls and perfumed magazines

Wear it up, let it down

This is the best way that I've found

To be the best you've ever seen

I put on some makeup

Turn on the eight-track

I'm pulling the wig down from the shelf

Suddenly I'm Miss Farrah Fawcett from TV

Until I wake up

And I turn back to myself

Shag, bi-level bob, Dorothy Hamill do

Sausage curl, chicken wings, it's all because of you

With your blow dried, feather back, Toni Home wave do

Flip, fro, frizz, flop, it's all because of you

It's all because of you, it's all because of you

Okay, everybody

Put on some makeup

Turn on the eight-track

I'm pulling the wig down from the shelf

Suddenly I'm this punk rock star of stage and screen

And I ain't never

I'm never turning back