I'm My Own Grandpa

I'm my own grandpa

Now, I understand the battle of the New Orleans

And also the Waterloo

But tell me why I'm my own grandpa

And I'll be much obliged to you

Many, many years ago when I was twenty-three

I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be

This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red

My father fell in love with her and soon they two were wed

This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life

My daughter was my mother 'cause she was my father's wife

To complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy

I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad

And so became my uncle though it made me very sad

For if he was my uncle then that also made him brother

Of the widow's grown-up daughter who of course was my step-mother

I'm my own grandpa

I'm my own grandpa

It sounds funny, I know

But it really is so

Oh, I'm my own grandpa

Well, father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run

And he became my grandchild for he was my daughter's son

My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue

Because although she is my wife, she's my grandmother too

Now, if my wife is my grandmother then I'm her grandchild

And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild

For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw

As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa

I'm my own grandpa

I'm my own grandpa

It sounds funny, I know

But it really is so

Oh, I'm my own grandpa