Текст пісні
I was watching outtakes from Bo Burnham's Inside and it made me feel depressed and angry
I think because I know a lot of the feelings he's portraying in the movie
It's taken me a long time to realize that I struggle with depression
I've just now put a name on it
My whole life it's been there
That's the feeling I could never really place
That's the overwhelming sadness that's just beneath the surface
Couple that with ADHD, which I feel and think a symptom of is
that you become hyper-empathetic
So when someone you care about is going through something
example given, dad being in a mental facility
I imagine myself in that situation
As my therapist and I have discussed
I was in a similar situation growing up
My life was always in a constant state of flux
Never knowing what the day would hold
So when I get these bouts of depression, they are short-lived
I think possibly because the ADHD moves on to something else and
Partly because I don't have time to be depressed
That's too time-consuming
And finally because if I'm down
the world around me that somehow relies totally on me
will come crashing down
And even in writing this
I'm analyzing how pretentious and self-righteous that sounds
Another thing that I have repeatedly dealt with
Is wanting to use these feelings creatively
But because of the ADHD, dyspraxia
And all the other stupid things wrong with me
I am unable to articulate what it is that I am feeling
It is as if I have to sneeze
But as soon as I breathe in to let out The best sneeze of my life, the sneeze is gone
It's so frustrating to have it all there on the tip of my tongue And watch it all fall away
Even now as I'm writing this, I'm getting angry
Because I can't seem to find the correct words
To convey the emotions and thoughts
Now, on to another thought, see ADHD for clarification
I finally understand what Dad meant by Hornets
They're what I call ADHD headaches