Marriage

Your number's saved as "Marriage counselor"

Three years now since I changed it

My thumb hovers over delete

But I can't bring myself to do it

Started as a joke between us

"what if someone sees your phone?"

Now we're strangers keeping secrets

But the secrets all I know

I almost typed your actual name today

Muscle memory kicked in

Had to stop and think for a second

Who you're supposed to be again

My friends think I'm doing better

Haven't mentioned you in months

But every night, in my apartment

I leave the door unlocked

If I could change it back tomorrow

Make it honest in my phone

Now your real name feels too heavy

For a heart that's barely whole

And I'd rather keep pretending

Than face this all on my own

Some lies are just more honest than

The truth we've come to know